The starting of the ‘silly’ season, aka Christmas catch-ups, can spark some anxieties about catching up with others and what people are going to be there, or what they are going to say.
Balancing the demands of fertility treatment and the emotional ups and downs that inevitably come with that, can make Christmas and catching up with others just another burden. There are so many functions to attend – family, work, friends, end of year parties with hobby groups etc etc. These can often create a lot of stress and sadness especially if they are with women who are pregnant or new mums, if there are lots of little children around, or if they are with people who are insensitive to your feelings and needs.
While you no doubt feel the need to “do the right thing”, you don’t need to subject yourself to stressful situations just because you feel obligated. Remember “good will to all” also includes YOU! So let yourself off the hook and say ‘no’ to some events. You will lessen the stress and feel stronger and a bit more in control of things. It’s ok not to go.
Of course if you do decide to go to functions get prepared – do some relaxing meditations before you are getting ready to go out. In the car you can do some ‘minis’ and just before you knock on the door or enter the function make sure you do some good diaphragmatic breathing, just to relax the body and calm the mind. If you need to leave the function earlier then planned because the tension or stress is too much for you, then leave, and do so without guilt. Those who know you, will understand and support you, those who don’t well really, do they matter?
Overall, enjoy the Christmas season on your terms. Spend some time on yourself, doing the things that nourish you each day. Spend time with your partner. Only you know exactly what you are going through, so be gentle and compassionate to yourself because getting control of Christmas will give you some strategies and feel more confident about facing the New Year!