For me, infertility has been akin to experiencing a series of frequently changing weather events: sunny days pop in every now and again, but are soon to be washed away by rain and storms, before the sun and its extreme heat return. The ups and downs, ins and outs, have been almost unbearable for me, not to mention my husband, family and friends.
Now, the weather doesn’t change as often and certainly not as severely. I have lots more sunny days, but they’re calmer than before, and when the storms appear on the horizon, I acknowledge them and can now manage to turn them into just slightly overcast days. My temperament is a lot more even, and I feel exhausted even just thinking about how I coped with the frantic emotional shifts for so long. But there are still little things that play on my mind — things that still cause the clouds to cluster on the horizon.
This week’s Mind Body Program session focused on methods to overcome specific moments of trauma that have lodged themselves in your mind. The aim is to reduce the severity with which they affect you; over time, watch these triggers diminish in their power to overwhelm you. I’ve really enjoyed these activities and can feel even more positive shifts in the way I see and interact with the world.
This week, it’s also been fantastic to speak with others who have been down the infertility path and managed to conquer it! Listening to one woman’s story made me realise that there are so many other doors that my husband and I still haven’t opened on our journey, and that there is still so much hope for us.
I know I’ve said it in previous weeks, but being able to interact with others who are experiencing infertility is definitely one of the key strengths of the Program. After all, this is an incredibly private journey for lots of people, and therefore, something that many people choose to keep hidden. It’s liberating to know that every other woman in the Program is there for the same reason; you can hear their stories and share your own with them and, ultimately, feel much more normal. This is refreshing after feeling like I’m going crazy for so long, and not really having too many other people to speak with who truly understand what the struggle is like.
By hearing others’ stories and coping with my own journey one step at a time, I feel like I’m slowly rebuilding myself and becoming a better person. I’m nurturing my mind and body more than ever before, which creates a much more conducive space for new life — if that’s what’s meant to be.