"We are struggling to conceive – Why doesn’t my partner leave?"
Some of the most special conversations in our groups are when women talk about their fears about their relationships.
They talk about being on a different page in the fertility journey.
"He didn’t realise we had a problem as early as I did."
"We seem to have different priorities now – mine is fully focused on having a baby."
"I knew we had to move to seeking help and discuss the possibility of IVF, long before he did."
Then the conversation goes to their fears.
They voice their wonder as to why their partner stays with them when they can’t give them a child.
They talk about letting their partner down.
Through tears they struggle to find words to express their belief that their partner would be better off if they found someone else who can give them a family.
The pain, the shame and the fears of infertility are thick in the air.
After a little while the conversation turns, as each woman realises the myth of their beliefs.
They start to voice for each other, “no he’s not with you because he thought you would have children, he’s with you because he loves you”.
One by one they tear down the relationship myths around infertility, and one by one they hold hope and love for each other. Willing the others to be resilient and realise why they have such a loving partnership.
The message develops clear and strong - never forget, you chose your partner not because of their ability to give you a child or for you to give them one.
You chose your partner because of who they are and they chose you because of who you are.
You chose them to share the fun, the laughter, the good times and the challenges.
I sit in the room of our Mind Body Program for Fertility, feeling so privileged to do this work and witness as hope becomes awareness and these women wipe each other’s tears and develop a mantra:
“Be gentle on yourself, and remember, together you can face anything!”
And together we do face anything. Our Mind Body Program for Fertility opens up so many conversations like these. We are able to explore the difficulties in relationships with partners, with mothers, with sisters, with family.
We teach women to challenge their automatic negative beliefs about themselves, their relationship and their fertility journey.
Together, we are all stronger for this journey, and we are all stronger knowing we are sharing the road with others.